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Porn, Sex workers and Infidelity – The Crisis of Discovery and What to Disclose

And – to that extent – they are “in the same boat” and they both have an opportunity to de-escalate the situation and resolve it together.

But they probably need considerable help.

Each may be overwhelmed by powerful negative feelings – so that neither are able – or willing – to consider de-escalation.

Indeed, their natural reaction may to make things worse – and to fuel the crisis into a prolonged trauma.

This distressing dynamic is most obvious when the partner seeks to answer the question: “what happened – and why”?

Partners urgently need to hear and gather an ever-increasing amount of evidence about the sexual behavior and the circumstances. While the person responsible, is just as convinced that they need to hold onto their “secrets”.

The Dynamics of the Partner

Partners may feel compelled to spend time, effort, emotional energy – and even finances – to gather the details.

They may subject the person responsible to hours of questions each day – and this may last for many weeks and months.

With the details that the partner has pieced together – and to fill in the gaps that they perceive – the partner may unwittingly create a vivid “horror movie”.

Some partner may envisage haunting details of sights, sounds, sensory touch, smells, emotions, behaviors and motivations – creating the most distressing account of the events as possible.

They may be insistent that the person responsible concurs – in every detail – with the partner’s account.

The partner may also seek to impose a “picture” of how the acting out partner (e.g. a sex worker or an affair partner) experienced the sex or “romance” – and relentlessly describes that person’s thoughts, feelings and motivations.

Many partners ruminate on whether there was an emotional bond between the responsible person and the sex workers or affair partners.

They may focus on: the nature and quality of this bond; why the bond was so important to the person responsible; and how it compares with the couple’s bond.

The person responsible may – in contrast – insist that the sexual relationship was only transactional, compartmentalized and objectified – or that it was simply a “fantasy relationship” – and part of usual the ritual of seeing sex workers or affair partners.

However, the partner may firmly believe that sex must have been experienced as more than a meaningless, casual act – and that it invariably involved a connection.

This drive to know and “picture” all the details, inevitably leads the partner to an escalation of their overwhelming feelings – and may lead to lasting trauma.

The Dynamics of the Person Responsible

The person responsible is likely to react viscerally and strongly to their partner’s need to know.

That person may sincerely believe that their sole task is “damage control”.

Inevitably their attempt “fuels” the destructive dynamic that is unwittingly overwhelming their partner.

The person responsible is likely to seek to: conceal what happened; provide half-truths or minimal details; minimize; deflect; avoid; rationalize; intellectualize – or “gaslight”.

“Gaslighting” is an intentional manipulation of a partner to believe they have “got it all wrong” and that it is the partner – not the person responsible – who is gravely at fault.

The Way Out

Is there a way out?

The answer may well be: “yes”.

Couples struggling with these distressing dynamics after sexual discovery who seek professional help, may be able to reverse the course of this behaviour – and address their escalating emotions.

The Action Plan

Professional therapists, skilled and experienced in these dynamics, will assist the couple to work on an action plan. 

This may involve: 

The Safety Plan: Creating a crisis management plan, that seeks to ensure the safety of the couple, their children and others.

The plan will provide practical safety guidelines and assist the couple to articulate safety boundaries and consequences.

It will include suggestions on how to build a network of support and resources for each of them – and seek to establish that they do not need to face the crisis alone.

It will also include practical suggestions on how to de-escalate distress; and will give the couple simple “tools” – to use in the moment – to regulate emotions and more effectively tolerate distress.

The couples’ ability to commitment to a safety plan is only effective if they are able to change their priorities.

This may be a challenge.

It may be hard to shift their priorities away from unwittingly nurturing thoughts and behaviours that exacerbate their emotions – towards a commitment to reducing their distress; nurturing their own wellbeing; and the safety and wellbeing of their children.

Individual Therapy – Weathering the initial stages of a crisis is more effectively accomplished in individual therapy.

Each party in the couple, working with their own therapist for individual sessions, gives them the safety and freedom to fully articulate, explore and reflect on their own experience of what happened and why.

They will be able to articulate their learnings and establish their priorities.

The Disclosure: A structured, systematic and therapeutic disclosure process will be described and (if agreed on) undertaken in therapy.

Both parties can give their truthful accounts in safety and with support – while seeking to avoiding any further trauma.

Disclosure is perhaps, the most crucial work the couple can do in therapy. But it is best done only when the couples’ priorities and expectations are aligned – and when they have the emotional capacity to undertake it therapeutically.

If you or your partner face a crisis in your relationship with the discovery of sexual betrayal – there may well be a solution. 

Porn Addiction: Impact on Relationships

Some people using porn may face the situation where their partner inadvertently discovers this.

For many porn users, the instant reaction is to deny it – and to continue to do so, despite the evidence.

Their partner is naturally shocked and angry – not just by the porn use but also by the blatant dishonesty and increasingly fervent denials.

The partner’s distress is now compounded – and they may seek and find more evidence. They may even see the porn user’s attempts to “cover their tracks”.

As the partner’s pain, distress and frustration mounts over the succeeding days and weeks – the user may seek to minimizes their porn use.

The user may give an account that the porn use was casual, occasional or infrequent; and that they were only looking at “romantic genres” – and only for short periods.

The user may be reluctant to admit that they masturbated using porn – or where porn use took place.

Whether the information provided by the user is true or not – the partner’s trust may be broken to the extent that the partner is simply unable to believe it.

The partner may see the porn user’s account as an attempt to minimize their behavior – particularly if the partner feels that they had to extract the information under a long, persistent and angry “interrogation”.

They might think – or even say – that porn use is prevalent among men and that: “it’s just not a big deal”.

This will be heard by the partner as ignoring their powerful feelings of emotional pain, sexual betrayal, broken trust and confusion.

The partner may be feeling that the user was comparing her to the porn images – and that she was judged by the user to be unattractive, unglamorous, sexually unappealing or “boring”.

This may engender in the partner a profound sense of shame, failure and rejection.

If the user avoids focusing on and validating the partner’s account, the partner is left to suffer in pain and isolation.

This can result in a serious and lasting fracture in relationship.

And this distress may be even compounded by years of neglect and inattention to the relationship by the porn user.

Indeed, porn itself can result in sexual dysfunction and distraction from investing in committed relationships.

Porn normalizes sex as being objectified and reduces sex to a physical urge that can be quickly and easily satisfied.

The user’s willingness to separate the act of sex from the context of a loving, committed, and mature relationship, leads some partners to contemplate separating – or even ending the relationship.

The partner and the user may then have to struggle with difficult decisions about parenting children, finances, and relationships with extended family members and others.

The Way Out

Is there a way out?

Yes, there could well be.

But it may require the porn user to reverse their perspectives. These new perspectives include: empathetically understanding what is happening to their partner and what their partner needs from them; and taking full accountability and responsibility for the consequences of their behavior.

The Barriers

There may be many emotional barriers in the way of the user changing their perspectives.

The user may be overwhelmed by their own guilt, shame, confusion, fear, frustration and anger.

These powerful emotions may drive the user to be emotionally “protective” of themselves. This “protectiveness” may be outside their conscious awareness.

In this context, acting dismissively, minimizing, being dishonest and avoidant can be viewed as “protective” behaviors.

The user may, for example, dread the consequences of taking the initiative to tell the whole truth to their partner – and this fear leads to avoidance and dishonesty.

To support their dishonesty, the user may rationalize that it would be too painful for their partner to hear the whole truth – and that the user wants to “protect” their partner from any further distress.

But the corollary of this rationalization is that continued dishonesty takes power away from the partner’s right to process the whole truth – and to decide what to do about it.

For the user, being truthful hands the power back to their partner, and creates fear and alarm.

In effect, the user feels powerless to avoid the relationship consequences of porn use.

Fear and shame may drive the porn user to imagine dire consequences to the relationship and the family – which, in turn, drives more fear and shame.

Dishonesty, minimization and avoidance become entrenched – and it becomes ever more difficult for the user to accept that continuing with their reactive behavior is more likely to result in desire consequences.

Similarly, the user may automatically avoid actively listening, validating and affirming their partner’s painful narrative – as this engenders fear and shame in the user and results in the user facing the full extent of their consequences.

The user would rather the partner minimize their emotions – and the user is convinced that their partner’s emotions will “blow over” and “normalcy” will be restored.

So, the user may avoid encouraging their partner to express their thoughts and feelings and may not invite their partner to safely process them together as a couple.

Their partner is likely to see that the user’s avoidance and deflection as simply another example of the user’s neglect and disrespect of their relationship.

The truth is that working through their respective emotions and narratives as a couple makes perfect sense. They are, after all, “in the same boat” – doing their best to “weather” a “perfect storm” in their relationship.

Those porn users who seek professional help, may be able to reverse the course of their reactive behavior – and address their overwhelming emotions.

The Action Plan

Porn users who seek professional therapy may be advised to work on an action plan.

This may involve:

Understanding how to actively listen, validate and affirm their partner. This includes exploring – with kindness and compassion – their partner’s narrative and their pain.

This also means openly accepting full responsibility for the consequences to their partner and the family – and apologizing for the hurt.

Being fully open and honest – and initiating and taking an active role in insightful discussions on their porn use – and any problems that the relationship may have faced before the discovery of porn use.

Reading, watching and listening to the material provided on the problems with porn use and the effect on partners.

Learning “tools” to manage the user’s distress.

Being screened by a therapist to rule out (or in) compulsive sexual behavior. This is a recognized mental health problem and that can be effectively addressed through a systematic program of recovery.

The partner considering individual therapy to effectively explore, express and address their distress. Therapy offers a confidential, safe and supportive space in which emotional healing can take place.

If you or your partner face a crisis in your relationship with the discovery of porn use – there may well be a solution.

When Tantrums Turn into Trouble: Understanding Child Anger Management

Seeing your child struggle with anger can be challenging for any parent. Tantrums, outbursts, and aggressive behaviours can disrupt family life and cause concern. But it’s important to remember that anger is a normal emotion, and children are still learning how to express it in healthy ways. This blog post will explore the roots of anger in children, offer practical strategies for managing it, and highlight when to seek professional support.

Decoding the Anger: Why Do Kids Explode?

Children experience anger for various reasons. Sometimes it’s a reaction to frustration, disappointment, or feeling overwhelmed. Developmental stages, like the terrible twos or the teenage years, can bring about hormonal shifts and increased emotional intensity. Underlying issues like anxiety, learning difficulties, or family stress can also contribute to anger problems. Understanding the root cause of your child’s anger is key to finding effective solutions.

Taming the Tantrums: Strategies for Parents

Here are some practical strategies to help your child manage their anger:

Teach emotional literacy: Help your child identify and label their emotions. Use simple terms like “sad,” “mad,” or “frustrated.”
Validate their feelings: Let your child know it’s okay to feel angry, but it’s not okay to hurt themselves or others.
Create a calm-down corner: Designate a safe space where your child can go to cool off when they feel overwhelmed.
Teach problem-solving skills: Help your child identify triggers and develop strategies for managing challenging situations.
Encourage physical activity: Physical activity can be a great outlet for releasing pent-up energy and frustration.
Set clear limits and consequences: Establish clear boundaries and consistent consequences for aggressive behaviour.

When to Seek Professional Help

While occasional outbursts are normal, persistent anger problems may require professional intervention. Consider seeking help if:

Anger is frequent and intense: Outbursts happen regularly and are difficult to manage.
Anger is affecting their daily life: Anger is interfering with school, friendships, or family relationships.
You feel overwhelmed: You’re struggling to manage your child’s anger and feel like you need additional support.

What a Child Therapist Can Do:

Identify underlying issues: A therapist can help uncover any underlying emotional, behavioural, or developmental issues contributing to anger problems.
Teach coping skills: Therapists can teach children effective coping strategies, such as relaxation techniques, problem-solving skills, and communication skills.
Provide family support: Therapy can involve parents and siblings to improve family dynamics and create a more supportive environment.

A Supportive Environment at Promises

At Promises Healthcare, our experienced child therapists provide a safe and nurturing space for children to explore their emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms. We offer individual therapy, family therapy, and group therapy tailored to your child’s unique needs.

Our therapists use evidence-based approaches like play therapy, art therapy, and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to help children understand and manage their anger. We work collaboratively with parents to create a supportive home environment and empower children to thrive.

Is Gaming Taking Over? Spotting the Signs of Addiction in Your Teen

In Singapore’s tech-savvy landscape, gaming is a popular pastime for teenagers. While gaming can offer entertainment and social connection, excessive gaming can become problematic. It’s important for parents to understand the difference between healthy enthusiasm and addiction. This blog post will explore the warning signs of gaming addiction in teens and offer guidance on how to address this growing concern.

The Gaming Landscape in Singapore

Singapore boasts a vibrant gaming culture, with esports gaining popularity and gaming cafes becoming social hubs for teens. Easy access to online games, mobile devices, and high-speed internet makes gaming readily available. While gaming can offer benefits like improved problem-solving skills and hand-eye coordination, excessive gaming can lead to negative consequences, including social isolation, academic difficulties, and even addiction.

Spotting the Signs: Is It Just a Hobby or an Addiction?

Recognizing the signs of gaming addiction is crucial for early intervention. Here are some red flags to watch out for in your teen:

Preoccupation with gaming: Constantly thinking about gaming, even when not playing.
Loss of control: Difficulty limiting gaming time, even when it interferes with responsibilities.
Withdrawal symptoms: Becoming irritable, anxious, or restless when unable to game.
Neglecting other activities: Losing interest in hobbies, social activities, or schoolwork.
Lying or hiding gaming habits: Being secretive about gaming activities or downplaying the amount of time spent gaming.
Using gaming to escape problems: Relying on gaming to cope with stress, anxiety, or difficult emotions.
Physical symptoms: Experiencing sleep disturbances, headaches, eye strain, or carpal tunnel syndrome due to excessive gaming.

Addressing Gaming Addiction: What Parents Can Do

If you’re concerned about your teen’s gaming habits, here are some steps you can take:

Open communication: Talk to your teen about your concerns in a non-judgmental way. Listen to their perspective and try to understand their motivations for gaming.
Set limits and boundaries: Establish clear rules about gaming time, including weekdays and weekends. Use parental controls and monitor their online activity.
Encourage alternative activities: Promote healthy hobbies and interests, such as sports, music, or volunteering. Spend quality time together as a family.
Seek professional help: If your teen’s gaming habits are causing significant problems, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counsellor specializing in addiction.

Why Professional Help Matters:

Understanding the root cause: A therapist can help identify underlying issues contributing to gaming addiction, such as anxiety, depression, or social difficulties.
Developing coping mechanisms: Therapy can equip your teen with healthy coping strategies to manage stress and emotions without relying on gaming.
Improving family dynamics: Family therapy can help improve communication and address any family issues contributing to the addiction.
Building a support system: Connecting with other teens facing similar challenges can provide valuable support and encouragement.

Supportive Environment at Promises

At Promises Healthcare, we understand the complexities of gaming addiction in teenagers. Our experienced therapists provide a safe and supportive environment for teens and their families to address this challenging issue. We offer individual therapy, family therapy, and group therapy tailored to your teen’s specific needs.

The Hidden Scars: Understanding & Healing from PTSD in Singapore

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that can develop after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. While¹often associated with veterans, PTSD can affect anyone who has endured trauma, including accidents, natural disasters, violence, or abuse. This blog post aims to shed light on PTSD, its symptoms, and the path to healing and recovery in Singapore.

Unmasking the Invisible Wounds

PTSD is more than just having bad memories or feeling upset after a traumatic event. It’s a complex condition that can cause significant distress and interfere with daily life. The symptoms of PTSD often persist for months or even years, leaving individuals feeling trapped in a cycle of fear, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts. Understanding PTSD is the first step towards seeking help and finding recovery.

Recognising the Signs: Symptoms of PTSD

PTSD can manifest in various ways, and symptoms may vary from person to person. Common symptoms include:

Re-experiencing the trauma: Intrusive memories, flashbacks, nightmares, and intense distress when reminded of the event.
Avoidance: Avoiding places, people, or activities that trigger memories of the trauma.
Negative thoughts and feelings: Persistent negative thoughts about oneself or the world, feelings of guilt, shame, or fear, difficulty experiencing positive emotions.
Arousal and reactivity: Hypervigilance, easily startled, irritability, difficulty concentrating, sleep disturbances.

It’s important to note that not everyone who experiences trauma will develop PTSD. However, if you’re experiencing these symptoms and they’re impacting your quality of life, it’s crucial to seek professional help.

Recognising Your Strength and Seeking Assistance

Living with PTSD can be incredibly challenging, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone and that healing is possible. It takes immense strength to survive trauma, and seeking support is a crucial step in your recovery journey.

If you’re experiencing symptoms of PTSD, such as intrusive memories, nightmares, avoidance behaviours, or hypervigilance, it’s important to reach out for help. Connecting with mental health professionals, support groups, or trusted individuals can provide you with the tools and resources you need to navigate these challenges and reclaim your life. Remember, seeking help is a sign of courage, not weakness.

Living with PTSD and Finding Support at Promises

Living with PTSD can be challenging, but recovery is possible with the right support. At Promises Healthcare, we understand the complexities of trauma and its impact on mental health. Our experienced therapists provide a safe and compassionate space for individuals to explore their experiences, process their emotions, and develop coping strategies.

Autism in Singapore: Early Detection & Support Resources for Parents

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how people perceive and interact with the world. It’s characterised by challenges with social communication, repetitive behaviours, and restricted interests. Early detection and intervention are crucial for supporting children with autism and helping them reach their full potential. This blog post will guide parents in Singapore through the process of early detection, diagnosis, and accessing valuable support resources.

Understanding Autism Spectrum Disorder

Autism is a spectrum disorder, meaning it affects individuals differently and to varying degrees. Some children may have mild challenges, while others may require significant support. Common characteristics include difficulties with social interaction, communication challenges (both verbal and non-verbal), repetitive behaviours, and sensory sensitivities. Early signs may include delayed language development, limited eye contact, and difficulty with social play.

Early Detection and Diagnosis

Early detection is key to providing timely intervention and support for children with autism. Parents play a vital role in recognizing early signs and seeking professional assessment.

What to look for:

Social communication: Limited eye contact, difficulty understanding social cues, lack of shared interests, challenges with back-and-forth conversation.
Behaviour: Repetitive movements (e.g., flapping hands, rocking), insistence on sameness, rigid routines, fixated interests, sensory sensitivities.
Developmental milestones: Delays in speech and language development, motor skills, or cognitive abilities.

Seeking professional assessment:

If you have concerns about your child’s development, consult your paediatrician or a developmental specialist. A comprehensive assessment may involve:

Developmental screening: Questionnaires and checklists to assess developmental milestones.

Clinical observation: Observing your child’s behaviour and interaction.

Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS): A standardized assessment tool used to observe social and communication behaviours.

Navigating the Journey: Support Resources in Singapore

Receiving an autism diagnosis can be overwhelming for parents, but there’s a strong network of support available in Singapore.

Early Intervention:

Early Intervention Programme for Infants and Children (EIPIC): Government-funded programme providing therapy and support for children with developmental needs.

Private early intervention centres: Offer a range of therapies, including speech therapy, occupational therapy, and behavioural therapy.

Education:

Special Education (SPED) schools: Cater to the specific learning needs of children with autism.

Mainstream schools with Learning Support Programme: Provide additional support for students with mild to moderate needs.

Understanding Your Child’s Unique Needs and Promises Support

Every child with autism is unique, and their needs will vary. It’s essential to work closely with professionals to develop an individualized support plan that addresses your child’s strengths and challenges.

At Promises Healthcare, our experienced therapists provide a range of services to support children with autism and their families. We offer:

Developmental assessments: Comprehensive evaluations to identify your child’s needs.
Individualized therapy: Tailored therapy sessions to address specific challenges, such as communication, social skills, and behaviour.
Family therapy: Support for parents and siblings to navigate the challenges and strengthen family bonds.

We believe in empowering children with autism to reach their full potential and live fulfilling lives. Contact Promises today to learn more about our services and how we can support your family.

Recognizing the Warning Signs of an Eating Disorder

Eating disorders are serious mental health conditions that can have devastating consequences if left untreated. They are characterized by an unhealthy relationship with food and body image, often leading to severe disturbances in eating habits and behaviours. In Singapore, the pressure to conform to societal beauty standards and the competitive academic environment can contribute to the development of eating disorders.

Understanding Eating Disorders

Eating disorders encompass a range of conditions, including anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, and avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID). These disorders can manifest in various ways, but they all involve a distorted perception of body image, an intense fear of gaining weight, and unhealthy eating patterns. They can affect people of all ages, genders, and backgrounds.  

Causes and Contributing Factors

Eating disorders are complex conditions with multiple contributing factors. While the exact causes are not fully understood, research suggests a combination of genetic, psychological, sociocultural, and environmental factors play a role.

Genetic predisposition: Family history of eating disorders or mental health conditions can increase the risk.

Psychological factors: Low self-esteem, perfectionism, anxiety, depression, and trauma can contribute to the development of eating disorders.

Sociocultural influences: Media portrayals of idealized body images, societal pressure to be thin, and cultural norms around food and appearance can influence body image and eating habits.

Environmental factors: Stressful life events, family dynamics, and peer pressure can trigger or exacerbate eating disorders.

5 Warning Signs and Expert Advice

Recognizing the warning signs of an eating disorder is crucial for early intervention. Here are five key signs you shouldn’t ignore:

Dramatic weight loss or fluctuations: Significant and rapid changes in weight, often accompanied by obsessive calorie counting or restrictive dieting.
Preoccupation with food and body image: Constant thoughts about food, weight, and body shape, often leading to obsessive behaviours like checking weight frequently or avoiding social situations involving food.
Distorted body image: Seeing oneself as overweight even when underweight or at a healthy weight.
Changes in eating habits: Skipping meals, avoiding certain food groups, eating in secret, or engaging in binge eating followed by purging behaviours like self-induced vomiting or excessive exercise.
Physical and emotional changes: Experiencing fatigue, dizziness, hair loss, digestive problems, mood swings, anxiety, depression, or social withdrawal.

Doctor Recommends:

“It’s important to remember that eating disorders are not about vanity or a lack of willpower. They are serious mental health conditions that require professional help. If you notice these warning signs in yourself or someone you care about, don’t hesitate to seek support,” says Dr. Jacob Rajesh a leading psychiatrist at Promises Healthcare.

Taking the First Step Towards Recovery

Recovery from an eating disorder is a journey that requires professional guidance and support. At Promises Healthcare, our dedicated team of psychiatrists, therapists, and nutritionists understands the complexities of eating disorders and provides personalized care to help you heal.

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, taking the first step towards recovery is crucial. Seeking expert advice and support is essential for overcoming these challenges and achieving lasting well-being. Don’t hesitate to reach out to Promises; we are here to help you every step of the way.

Marriage Counseling Myths Debunked

Marriage counselling, also known as couples therapy, often carries a stigma. Many couples hesitate to seek help due to misconceptions and fear of judgment. This blog aims to dispel those myths and provide a clear picture of what marriage counselling entails in Singapore.

Understanding the Need for Marriage Counselling

Every marriage faces challenges. Communication breakdowns, unresolved conflicts, and life transitions can strain even the strongest bonds. While some couples navigate these hurdles independently, others may benefit from professional guidance. Marriage counselling provides a safe and supportive space for couples to explore their concerns, improve communication, and develop healthier relationship patterns.

The Journey to a Healthier Marriage

Marriage counselling is not a quick fix; it’s a journey of self-discovery and relationship growth. The process typically involves:

Assessment: The therapist will meet with both partners to understand their concerns, relationship history, and individual needs.

Goal setting: Couples collaboratively identify their goals for therapy and the areas they want to improve.

Skill-building: The therapist guides couples in developing effective communication skills, conflict resolution strategies, and tools for managing emotions.

Exploration of underlying issues: Therapy may delve into deeper issues contributing to relationship challenges, such as past traumas, attachment styles, or individual mental health concerns.

Maintenance and relapse prevention: Couples learn strategies to maintain progress and prevent future relationship difficulties.

Common Misconceptions & Myths About Couples Therapy

Several myths prevent couples from seeking the help they need. Let’s debunk some of the most common ones:

Myth: Marriage counselling is only for couples on the verge of divorce.
Reality: Couples therapy can be beneficial at any stage of a relationship, even for those seeking to strengthen their bond and prevent future issues.
Myth: The therapist will take sides or blame one partner.
Reality: A skilled therapist remains neutral and helps both partners understand their roles in the relationship dynamics.
Myth: Marriage counselling is expensive and time-consuming.
Reality: While therapy requires an investment of time and money, the long-term benefits for your relationship can outweigh the costs. Many therapists offer sliding scale fees or packages to make therapy more accessible.
Myth: Marriage counselling will magically fix all our problems.
Reality: Therapy provides tools and guidance, but it requires effort and commitment from both partners to implement changes and improve their relationship.
Myth: Talking about our problems with a stranger is uncomfortable and embarrassing.
Reality: Therapists create a safe and confidential space where couples can openly express themselves without judgment.
Myth: We should be able to solve our problems on our own.
Reality: Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Just as we consult professionals for physical health, seeking guidance for relationship challenges is equally important.
Myth: Marriage counselling will change who we are as individuals.
Reality: Therapy helps you understand yourself and your partner better, but it doesn’t aim to change your core personalities.
Myth: If we go to therapy, our friends and family will judge us.
Reality: Prioritizing your relationship’s health is commendable. Focus on your well-being and disregard any negative opinions.

Finding the Right Support with Promises

At Promises Healthcare, our experienced couples’ therapists provide a safe and supportive environment for you to navigate your relationship challenges. We offer evidence-based therapies tailored to your unique needs, helping you strengthen communication, rebuild trust, and reignite intimacy.

If you’re considering marriage counselling, don’t let myths and misconceptions hold you back. Take the first step towards a healthier, happier relationship. Contact Promises today for a confidential consultation.

Finding the Right Depression Treatment for You

Depression is a serious mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide, including many in Singapore. It’s more than just feeling sad or down; it’s a persistent state of low mood that can significantly impact daily life. This blog post aims to shed light on the causes of depression, its symptoms, and the various treatment options available in Singapore.

Understanding the Causes of Depression

Depression is a complex condition with multiple contributing factors. While the exact causes are not fully understood, research suggests a combination of:

Biological factors: Genetic predisposition, imbalances in brain chemistry, and hormonal changes can contribute to depression.

Psychological factors: Negative thought patterns, low self-esteem, and difficulty coping with stress can increase vulnerability to depression.

Social factors: Social isolation, lack of support, and traumatic life events can trigger or worsen depression.

Environmental factors: Exposure to chronic stress, unhealthy lifestyle habits, and certain medical conditions can increase the risk of depression.

What Does Depression Feel Like?

Depression can manifest differently in everyone, but common symptoms include:

Persistent sadness or low mood: Feeling down, hopeless, or empty for most of the day, nearly every day.

Loss of interest or pleasure: Losing interest in activities that were once enjoyable.

Changes in appetite or weight: Significant weight loss or gain, or a decrease or increase in appetite.

Sleep disturbances: Insomnia, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, or excessive sleeping.

Fatigue or loss of energy: Feeling tired and drained, even after minimal exertion.

Difficulty concentrating: Problems with focus, memory, and decision-making.

Feelings of worthlessness or guilt: Excessive self-blame, feelings of inadequacy, or guilt about past actions.

Thoughts of death or suicide: Recurring thoughts of death, suicidal ideation, or suicide attempts.

Management of Depression

Depression is a treatable condition, and various approaches can help manage symptoms and improve quality of life.

Psychotherapy: “Talk therapy” is a cornerstone of depression treatment. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) helps identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviours. Other effective therapies include interpersonal therapy, psychodynamic therapy, and mindfulness-based therapies.

Medication: Antidepressant medications can help regulate brain chemistry and alleviate symptoms. Different types of antidepressants are available, and a psychiatrist can determine the most suitable option based on individual needs.

Lifestyle changes: Healthy lifestyle habits play a crucial role in managing depression. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, sufficient sleep, and stress management techniques can significantly improve mood and overall well-being.

Social support: Strong social connections and support networks can provide emotional support and reduce feelings of isolation.

Finding Hope and Healing

If you’re struggling with depression, remember that help is available. Experienced mental health professionals offer a range of effective treatments, including therapy, medication, and support groups, to help you manage your symptoms and regain control of your life.

Promises Healthcare provides a safe and supportive environment where you can explore your concerns and work towards recovery. Don’t hesitate to seek expert advice and embark on your journey towards healing and well-being.

Understanding and Managing Adult ADHD

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often associated with childhood, but it can persist into adulthood, impacting various aspects of life. In Singapore, with its fast-paced and demanding environment, adults with ADHD may face unique challenges. This blog post aims to raise awareness about adult ADHD, its symptoms, and the importance of seeking professional help.

Understanding ADHD in Adulthood

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. While these traits may be present in everyone to some extent, individuals with ADHD experience them to a degree that significantly impairs their daily functioning. In adults, ADHD can manifest as difficulty focusing, disorganization, restlessness, impulsiveness, and emotional dysregulation.

Unmasking ADHD Symptoms in Adults

ADHD symptoms in adults can be subtle and easily mistaken for other conditions or personality traits. Here are some common signs:

Inattention: Difficulty sustaining focus, easily distracted, forgetfulness, procrastination, poor organizational skills.

Hyperactivity: Restlessness, fidgeting, difficulty relaxing, excessive talking, interrupting others.

Impulsivity: Acting without thinking, difficulty waiting their turn, interrupting conversations, making impulsive decisions.

Emotional dysregulation: Mood swings, irritability, difficulty managing emotions, low frustration tolerance.

Executive function challenges: Problems with planning, prioritizing, time management, and self-regulation.

Recognizing ADHD: When to Seek Professional Help

If you suspect you or someone you know may have ADHD, it’s essential to seek a professional assessment. A diagnosis typically involves a comprehensive evaluation, including:

Clinical interview: A detailed discussion about symptoms, medical history, and family history.

Psychological testing: Standardized questionnaires and tests to assess attention, impulsivity, and executive function.

Behavioural observation: Observing behaviours and interactions to identify ADHD-related patterns.

Why Early Diagnosis Matters:

Improved Quality of Life: Proper diagnosis and treatment can significantly improve quality of life by reducing symptoms and enhancing daily functioning.
Reduced Risk of Comorbidities: ADHD often co-occurs with other mental health conditions like anxiety and depression. Early intervention can help prevent or manage these comorbidities.
Enhanced Relationships and Career Success: Managing ADHD symptoms can lead to improved relationships, increased productivity, and greater career success.
Increased Self-Awareness: Understanding your ADHD can help you develop coping strategies and self-management skills.
Reduced Stigma: Seeking help for ADHD can challenge the stigma surrounding mental health and encourage self-acceptance.

Creating a Supportive Environment at Promises

At Promises Healthcare, we understand the challenges faced by adults with ADHD. Our team of experienced psychiatrists and therapists provides comprehensive assessments and personalized treatment plans. We offer a range of evidence-based therapies, medication management, and support groups to help you manage your ADHD and achieve your full potential.

We believe in creating a supportive and non-judgmental environment where you can feel comfortable discussing your concerns and working towards a fulfilling life. Contact Promises today for a confidential consultation and take the first step towards managing your ADHD effectively.